Blog #306. Living Beyond 80: Two Views

By Anne Patrick for Quora Digest

Anne is a Psychologist

There is no rule of this type which will apply to all 80-year olds.

Some people are dead before the age of 80. Those who remain beyond then, range from severely disabled to those who are able to do almost all of their previous activities.

My father-in-law did yoga and played golf until the age of 99 (a year before he died). My mother-in-law is 102 and while she no longer drives or does her own grocery shopping, she still cooks, cleans, mows the law, and gardens.

Know your own body. Be aware that as you age, there will be some things you used to be able to do which your body will no longer do for you … and adjust your activities and your overall activity level according to the feedback your body gives you. Until then, take care of your body … eat healthy, exercise regularly, avoid drugs and alcohol and smoking/vaping. And learn how to face and ease YOUR self-created stress (and it is ALL self-created). Stress will age you faster than anything else and can even cause cancer.

Accept that inner and outer changes will be required IF you are going to remain happy with yourself and with Life. And if you have not learned over your younger years how to face and relax with things you don’t like, you will find old age to be a living hell. So start now, learning how to face and relax with YOUR emotional reactions.

The majority of elderly people have learned how to be content from within. Which is why sociology finds this age group to be THE happiest age group. But those who do not work on developing self-awareness and inner change ... end up miserable in their old age.

95% of how we feel arises automatically from whatever kinds of subconscious emotional patterns we have previously fed INTO our brain. Change your input and gradually you change the “output”. It’s not fast, and it’s not easy .. but it’s our only opportunity TO become happy. Happiness really IS a state of mind, and as such it will come only from within.

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My View: John Shoemaker

I just turned 80 in September 2026. I agree with most of the comments above. I took many calculated risks that could have gone bad, but they also gave me strength and courage. Training to be a paratrooper, a jungle warfare expert, volunteering for war, and missing certain death five times by inches or by a few minutes as a Lieutenant and platoon leader against the Viet Cong and NVA, with death all around me, gave me a sense of maturity, courage, and confidence. I also learned to confront challenges head-on and seek positive results.

As we grow older, life comes in phases. I didn’t realize each phase forces us to do things differently, and that it’s important to prepare for the next phase and the future. During all this time, I was not a Foxhole Convert in Vietnam, but I am a Catholic and believe in Christian values and Jesus Christ. I also believe something hard to imagine…God…is responsible for our Universe. That is consistent throughout my life.

Anyway, I got an education. I took jobs focused on acceptable performance or else - highly measured and clear goals. It is about getting results. Failure was never an option, but it happens. I climbed the corporate ladder and, after getting laid off due to a merger I sponsored, went on to work at five different start-ups. I won with two of them. In total, I was laid off seven times because companies merged, went bankrupt, withdrew from the market, or products failed. But the two wins were home runs.

It was a high-stress life, but it provided a good lifestyle. So, what did I do to get to be 80?

In the Army, I learned how to respect being in good physical shape. I always avoided smoking and drinking. I never really got drunk, maybe once or twice when I was young. I did not play golf, but I loved hiking in the mountains. Each year for 25 years, I arranged trips for friends to meet at a national park or such a place to hike a real mountain. Sometimes over 12,000 to 14,500 feet high. I made it to the top of 18 14,000-foot (14ers) mountains and over 30 13ers.To do that, I trained year-round, hiking in parks one afternoon a week with a 40 lbs backpack filled with water to test and challenge my stamina. I was typically the oldest on the team, which inspired me to keep up with them.

Even today, living in Florida, I walk the beach barefoot two to three times a week for 2-4 miles, many times with a 20 lb backpack. While living in a Florida condo, I trained for 25 years by walking up/down a 12-story staircase ten times with a backpack. It is great for strengthening your legs, which is vital in old age to ensure stability and mobility. I also mountain bike, ride a road bike, and lift weights to stay active.

Personal hygiene: Since the stress made me grind my teeth during sleep, I invested in my health by having my teeth renewed with 28 crowns. Not easy, but good teeth and gums are critical to your health and the appearance of your facial structure.

After 70, I visited doctors regularly to ensure my vital signs were in good shape. Although I learned I had shrapnel from a bomb embedded in my leg from the war, I decided to leave it alone. Why risk infection? I went ahead with replacing my knees when I was 77, which was the latest I would go since healing from operations is most difficult after 80. I also decided to replace both at the same time and have my legs straightened, as they were severely bowed during Vietnam due to my diet. The surgeon would do it only because I'd been lifting weights for years to keep my upper body strong, which lets me lift myself off the toilet onto a walker without assistance or bending my knees. Try doing it without using your legs. Not easy.

For sure, I do the basics: at least 7 hours of sleep, eat less meat and more veggies, and cut back dramatically on how much I eat.

While I felt a tremendous sense of duty to my country by joining the Army during the Vietnam War. It was an exciting, valuable experience, and I would do it again. But I would not make it a career. I wanted a family and financial success. My soulmate gives me the love and purpose we all need in life. So, I stayed in private industry until I retired at 70. Then I served the community again by being elected Commissioner for the Town and serving on two condo boards as a director and President. Community service matters because it lets you give back and build lasting relationships. It also gives purpose while challenging your brain to keep up.

I’ve made funeral arrangements for both my wife, whom I married in 1968, and me, and created a “trust” so that when my time is up, all property and financial matters are prepared.

But until that day arrives, I will fight to keep my mind sharp, keep learning, stay mobile, and remain independent.

I try to be a good man. You can’t make everyone happy. I value friendships and have tried to be a loyal, honest, and open man who always tries to be productive.

I trust in God and hope that I will see all of you in Heaven — at some distant time, maybe when I reach 100. :<))